Day 5- The Catacombs, The Eiffel Tower, River Cruise.

We started today with the Catacombs. This is totally worth it. It is a long tunnel that leads to an Ossuary that contains the bones of 6 million Parisians. The only thing I kept thinking was that Caroline would have absolutely loved how organized the bones were. She probably would have used packing cubes, though. Regardless, somebody really took their time organizing all those bones.

Look at the bone organization! There must have been a Martha Stewart-type French lady or dude that organized these bones. They could have just put it in heaps but they are perfect. Evie is not on her phone, btw, she is listening to the audio tour.

Both kids thought it was super creepy and made me walk behind them the whole time. I agree with them. It was definitely creepy. I touched a skull and immediately I felt a weird pain in my abdomen but it turned out that it was just gas or something. Everyone said 5/5 stars.

We had lunch in a pizzeria, and then the kids wanted to see Notre Dame Cathedral. We took a cab there and the line to get in had to be over a mile long, so we got the hell out of there.

Then we went to the Eiffel Tower. After doing this today, I have EXTREMELY mixed feelings about the Eiffel Tower. As I have mentioned, I am not an expert on anything. When I booked the tour, there were no elevator tickets available, so I bought us climbing tickets to the second floor.

Do you know how high that is? I fucking don’t, but it is 1,667 stairs. Also, It was 82 degrees and 70% humidity. If the stairs went to the top, Cash would be writing my obituary on here. By the way, if the ground is the lobby, shouldn’t that be the third floor? The second floor should be the big platform underneath, which was the first floor. Why are they deceiving the public? I initially thought that going to the second floor would be a max climb of 40 feet. Second floors are usually under 40 feet, Not 1,667 steps. Fuckers.

The kids raced up and I got there about 10 minutes after them. When I got to the “second floor,” Cash immediately called me to ask if I made it. I was sweating profusely and dry heaving in the shadow of one of the iron beams so the sun would stop burning me, so I didn’t answer. I called him back 20 minutes later when I caught my breath. I didn’t even look at the view from the second floor because my main priority was not dying, and I think I was losing a few times. The picture above is the only one I got up there, and I don’t even care.

Then we went on a Cruise on the Seine River but I don’t remember much because I was trying to lower my body temperature the whole time with the breeze. The kids seemed to have fun on the cruise. This cruise lowered my body temperature but there was no bar. 4/5.